I went away for one night over a weekend last year. It is the only time I have ever been away from my kids for an overnight.  The next afternoon, in the kitchen, my 9 year old said to me, “Mom, why are you being so nice to us today?”

Wow. What a wake up call! And it should NOT have come as a surprise. You take a burnt out, 24/7 single mom of 4 and get her a night off and she comes back refreshed?!? Wow! What a revelation!

When we board a plane, before take-off, they always give us the oxygen mask speech. They always tell us to put our mask on before helping others, including our own children. If we don’t, then we will pass out and not be any good to anyone! TAKING CARE OF OURSELVES IS LIKE PUTTING OUR MASKS ON FIRST!

Unfortunately, society gives out quite mixed messages. We hear how awesome it is that women can “do it all”. They can work, take care of children, take care of a house, etc… Then we are told to make sure we are taking care of ourselves and being good to ourselves and taking some time out to do things we enjoy.  Then there’s the “mom guilt” that comes alomg with every single thing we do or say. Moms(and dads!), especially single ones with their kids all the time CANNOT do it all. WE CANNOT.  Something’s gotta give. It seems that in most situations, it’s us and our sanity and our mental and physical health! Why do we feel selfish when we do something that puts us first? What we are doing is becoming a better parent, friend, and person! We are teaching our children an important lesson in self-care.

I believe we need to put our oxygen masks on first! We are no good to our children if we don’t! We are not being selfish! Think of all we do for our children!  We have them in every activity we can find.  We cart them across towns and states for sports. We make sure they are clothed and fed. We make sure they see their friends. We do this and laundry, dishes, floors, bills, and keeping cars and yards maintained!  This is not all possible for one person to do! I decided something was going to give at my house and it can’t be me. Laundry can wait. I can let my kids entertain themselves.  I can get a babysitter.  I need my time, my outlet. I need to take breaks. Call me selfish. I need to run. I need to workout. I need to go out with my friends and others I care about. My children are not going to break if they are left alone for an hour or two while I run or take an exercise class.  Independent children are a good thing! They will be ok if they do not have me entertaining them.  They will be ok if they are trusted to not kill one another because Mommy needs to get herself a little break. This morning I needed to run. I knew I needed to run. Every kid needed something from me. Every.Single.One.  It took me 3 hours from when I woke up to get my ass out the door and run, but I did it. And it was all ok. I put myself…FIRST (gasp!) for 2 hours out of 24. Nothing bad happened! The only result is that I feel really good and got some stress out!  I love my children, obviously, and I made sure they all had what they needed before I left.  I’m so grateful, especially after losing loved ones, that we have each other.  We are a very close family and that’s a great thing.  I’m still a 24/7 single mom though and that’s a tough thing to be. I have learned to do things for myself and my sanity. At this point I can see the burn out and I’m barely keeping it at bay.  I’m pretty sure I could use at least a week away to refresh my batteries, but ironically I wouldn’t do that because I certainly would miss those little shits too much to enjoy it! I would take one night again though in a heartbeat!  According to my kids, I’ll be a nicer mom for it!