Today I really didn’t do anything on my to do list. I am always going at a constant pace. If it seems like I never stop, it’s because I don’t. Even on the weekends, we don’t always just relax. Last weekend I decided to treat myself. By treating myself, I mean that I decided to clean MY bedroom. The toys scattered around my dresser do not belong to me. The overflowing baskets of laundry are not just my clothing. The 7 water bottles half full on my night stand are not mine. So, yes, this was a real treat for Mom. I don’t eat in my bedroom, yet the vacuum sucked up a moldy ear of corn and what I think was a half eaten donut. (Pictured below.)

So, today, I slacked.

I remember when I used to walk into the house and sit down. I would take a break and watch a little TV. Now, I need to do laundry, get dinner ready, or any number of other tasks. My children do help with chores, but for the most part it’s all on me. I spend quite a bit of time driving my children wherever they want to go as well. I bring them to soccer, football, hip-hop dance class, school activities, friends houses, and every place in between. On any given day if someone asks me what I have planned, there is usually an extremely long list. I rarely get to everything on the list, but I don’t stop until it’s bedtime. I know this isn’t good, but I do it anyway. I hate to procrastinate. I hate to know that there are things that I should be doing.

Over the last several months, life has been pretty upside down. Just when I thought I had a handle on raising four kids on my own after their dad died, we had another rug pulled out from underneath us when my dad died. Life has definitely been an adjustment again! I spent months cleaning out my father’s house. Thank God for the friends who helped me with that! It still took an emotional toll. I finally got rid of his car. I sold furniture of his and threw a lot of things away.

I sold the house a week ago. Perhaps it’s just hitting me that I’ve experienced that closure. Perhaps it’s the nasty rain that this day brought. But I am tired. I am not just physically tired, but emotionally and mentally drained. So, today I did not check things off my to-do list. Today, after I played with the preschoolers at my son’s school and then taught my pound class at the gym, I slacked off. I hate to admit it, but I did. Before I went to the gym, I had plans to run 2 miles and do some extra ab work after my pound class. After all, two weeks ago I committed to losing the 20 pounds I gained over the last 3 years. I’ve already lost five and been really working hard for that accomplishment. When I left the gym I still had plans in my head to go home and run on my treadmill and do that ab work. I decided to stop for a coffee. Next door to the coffee shop is a new, cute, little boutique. It is filled with unique gifts. It’s a place that I wanted to check out for a couple of months. I decided to take a look. I didn’t buy anything, but it was nice to take a breath, stop, and just take my time. Then I grabbed my coffee and headed back home. When I got home, I chatted a little bit with my daughters. They are now back to homeschooling. (So, yeah, that’s been an adjustment as well.) I treated myself to sitting down and eating lunch. Most people do that every day, but it’s really a treat for me. Usually I’m out of the door with a smoothie or grabbing some kind of bar while multi-tasking in the house. After that, I decided that I deserve to shower. (Selfish, right?) I forgot all about that two mile run and that extra ab work. I took a really nice, hot shower. I took my time. I noticed the sun was coming out. Then, I also noticed that it was already time to pick up my boys from school. Once they come home, usually a few more things get done around the house. I usually throw in more laundry or clean up the kitchen or whatever else it is that I could be doing. But today I decided not to. We hadn’t seen each other all day. They had stories to tell me and I had lots of snuggles to give them. I still hadn’t sat on the couch. I’m pretty sure that when you slack off you’re supposed to do that. I already succumbed to slacking off today. I need to make sure I do it right.

I have caught my breath now. I need to feed them, but I think leftovers are in order for tonight. I probably should fold some of that laundry after dinner…

Nope! Checked the movie listings instead. Looks like Friday night movie night for us!! I could really get used to this relaxing stuff…

Yeah, you and I both know that won’t happen!!

Now, seriously….a donut?!?!?!