I was trying to figure out what to title this entry. My dad’s anniversary of his death is this week. One year. That’s a tough one, especially when it has, without a doubt, been the most difficult year of my life. Now, more than ever, I need to dig deep. I need to pull out all those weapons in my arsenal. I need to remember all of those lessons my dad taught me, about life, survival, and grace. I also need to remember the strength. When I think of my dad and his life, I think of strength over everything. When I think of my Uncle, his brother, and of their ancestors, I just keep thinking of the strength. I am honoring my dad and his memory this year by remembering what he taught me about life and living, and about strength.

Always look on the positive side. Always. Hope is sometimes all that you have, but it will still get you through.

Laugh. Make a joke of everything and everyone. Laugh at yourself. Laugh especially when you know you’re being really dumb in your thoughts or actions.

Money is definitely not everything. It’s not something to obsess over. It’s not something to cry about. You go out there and do something you love and make some money. Keeping up with the Jones’s is stupid.

You are the only one who can truly make you happy. Make decisions based on that. You get to live your life. Everybody else and their opinions can screw off.

Help someone whenever you can. You might be all that they have.

Play cards. Sit the heck down. Teach the kids how to play rummy, cribbage, and good ole 45!

There is nothing like good music.

There are men who treat women like gold. Find one and take care of them in return.

When you live an honest life and do what you think is right, you don’t ever need to worry about your reputation. The people who won’t like you or come up with something negative about you are either jealous or just assholes. Neither of those are the people who you want as your friends anyways.

Choose your friends wisely and keep them.

Men won’t melt if they do the dishes.

Strength is inherited and I got that gene. It’s a strong one. We Portagees are made of some crazy shit.

After the bad stuff happens, you refocus on the good and make the most out of what you have.

Strong doesn’t mean you won’t have a bad day. It means that after the bad day, you get back up again and try even harder.

I picture my dad and see strength. I remember growing up wondering how he could be so strong after my brother dying, then years later my other brother dying. I watched him lose my mom and still be my rock. I watched him struggle in business and still make it work and succeed. I watched him struggle to breath and still be strong enough to keep going, every single day. I watched him show my kids how to be strong. I watched him constantly taking care of me even when he needed the help. I watched him die of COPD. I witnessed incredible strength when he couldn’t breathe, but just couldn’t let go.

I pray for that strength daily. But, I also know I already have it. It might not be my last name anymore, but I’m a Fernandes for Pete’s sake. Through and through. I’m Portuguese. I’m stubborn, I’m sexy, and, most of all, I’m strong. I am made of some damn good stuff and this year will be my best year yet. Thanks Dad.