As a personal trainer and wellness coach, I see people that are not content with one aspect of their lives or another. I get paid to help them to make goals for change and accomplish those goals. I also care very much that they are successful. I truly enjoy seeing people kick ass and take names. Whether it be physically, professionally, or any aspect of life at all, when someone I work with improves, grows, and sees what they are capable of, it makes me giddy. I am proud to be able to play a small role in their health and wellness journey. I say “small role” because I know what goes into long-term change. It is not easy. It is not for quitters. It has to be wanted and owned and worked on over time. Most importantly, the work has to be done by the person who is reaching the goal. It cannot be done by me or their family or their friends. I am here for support and guidance and to make sure they have the correct information along the way. Hopefully, they have a support system that roots for them besides me too. The work, however, must come from the person changing. The people I have worked with know that I will listen to them and offer an ear or advice, but I will not allow excuses to get in the way of anything.

Change is hard. If it wasn’t hard, everyone would do it. But they don’t. Instead, we have a society of complainers, whiners, blamers. We are surrounded by people that make excuses. They complain about a situation, but then won’t do a thing to change it. When someone says the words “I can’t”, I want to rip my ears off. Let’s get real here for a second, ok? We can’t breathe underwater without special gear. We can’t get out of the driveway if a car is parked behind us without hitting them. We can’t eat an entire half gallon of mint chocolate chip ice cream without gaining weight. We can’t be the best at something unless we practice and there is nobody else better competing with us. Those might all be true, but there are other “can’t” statements that are simply false. I can’t possibly get a new job/quit my job/change careers/lose 20 lbs/fit into those jeans/learn to play golf/write a book/ forgive my ex, etc. All of these are things that CAN be done, but they require change and practice. They require a level of commitment. You have to want it. You have to be willing to put in the work.

We like being comfortable. We complain, but don’t put in the work to change because it’s uncomfortable. We are pushed out of our comfort zones. It isn’t our normal routine, our normal way of thinking. Creating new habits that lead to long-term change can be difficult. You can complain that there is no time in your day to get exercise. Maybe, to make the time to workout, you need to wake up at 5am. This means you need to go to bed earlier than you normally would. Changing your schedule and your habits can be hard, but they can be done. Do it for 2 weeks straight. Force yourself. It becomes habit. Practice makes it possible. Another common complaint has to do with work/job/career. If you are not happy at your job, then you have a choice to either quit or stay. Quitting is scary. It takes planning. We need to make sure we have money to live, pay our bills, take care of our kids if we have them, make sure we have health insurance, etc. The work needs to be done to have a plan, put money aside perhaps, line up a new job. It is all scary and time consuming, but it CAN happen if one wants it badly enough.

The way I see it, we are only allowed 2 reasons to complain. The first reason to complain is to come up with a plan. We need to talk it out with someone so we can find a solution to change the situation we do not like and accept. We find ourselves in a problem so we discuss it, create our plan, then move forward. We bounce ideas off of others if we need to and find support in trusted friends or family. If the thing you are complaining about is truly out of your control and unchangeable or if you make the choice not to change the situation, then we come to the other reason to complain: to let it go. Complain as a way to vent, once or maybe twice. Get it off of our chest because we need to talk about it. Then, knowing this situation will not be changing, move past it. Let it out to let it go. This also is not easy. It requires us to have those skills in our arsenal of mental health and wellness weapons. Some of us do and some of us do not, but all of us have the capability to learn.

If you can control your situation and do not like it, then work to make a change. Sometimes those changes are small, one step at a time, little things over time that lead to big things. Sometimes these changes are big and quick. Every situation is different. In my case, change is slow and steady. I am building a career and also raising 4 children. It is unrealistic to put all of my time and energy into one thing. I must juggle to make each day work for everyone that relies on me. However, I can still move forward and continue to change and grow myself and my business. I can still continue my work of helping others, little by little, day by day.

I am here to help you too. Look around. I will make a bet that there are more people around you than you realize that would all support you creating positive change in your life. Nobody has it all figured out. Nobody’s life is perfect, nor is that even possible. The idea of “perfect” is abstract. It changes from one’s perspective versus another. Your life can be the perfect one for you! You have the power to make that happen! There is beauty in that. You have strength inside that you never knew you possessed! Stop complaining and realize where your power lies. Unleash that power and see change is possible! A better you has already been inside waiting to jump out! You have always been ready! It’s time to let the badass inside of you out. It’s time to make the positive changes for a future that will be amazing! I cannot wait to see what you have in store.