This morning when my daughter was sleeping and I was being extra quiet, I realized something. Teenagers are exactly like toddlers! Perhaps this is nothing new to other moms or dads. Maybe I’m late to the game, but I am just in the thick of it now. So here are the reasons that teenagers are basically just toddlers that weigh more and are taller.

1. You DO NOT want to wake them when they’re sleeping! When I was tip-toeing around this morning, this dawned on me. I was not trying to be polite and respectful of her needing sleep. Nope. I was really enjoying the peace. Nobody was fighting or asking for money or whining about something not being fair. It was SO nice! Just like when the toddler naps, it is heaven!

2. They make HUGE messes and then don’t clean up after themselves! I remember singing the clean up song and helping my kids to wipe something up or to put back toys. Still, the parents end up doing most of it anyways because they’re little and can’t always do it alone. Then, when they were about 9 or 10, I got a few years in there when they were stellar at picking up and getting chores done and helping out. Now, as teenagers, I cannot believe the true comparison to a hurricane whipping through the house. I could walk around my house wearing an orange vest and holding a stick! Trash goes in the trash! Dishes go in the dishwasher! Laundry gets put away in your drawers, NOT left on the stairs or table or chair or couch or floor or deck!

3. The whining! Oh God help me! The whining! Ask a toddler to clean and they may pout or say “I don’t want to!” Ask a teenager to clean and it’s not much different. They say, “Why do I have to?” or “It’s not fair!” or anything else instead of just doing the task in the first place!

4. They don’t share nicely. We work on teaching toddlers to share their toys. We teach how nice it is when someone else shares with us. We teach them not to fight over a toy, just take turns. I have two teenage girls. I am certain a day has not gone by in the last 6 months that I have not heard a fight about something. One won’t let the other borrow a pair of shorts. One won’t give the other any of the food she made, even though there is plenty. “Mom, she won’t let me borrow her shoes!” Ugh.

5. It’s not fair! I hear this all day long. I’m the mean mom I guess. It’s not fair that they have to do chores. It’s not fair that they can’t stay out late. It’s not fair that I won’t give them money. When they were toddlers, it wasn’t fair that they had to leave a playdate when they were having fun. It wasn’t fair that they couldn’t get something at the checkout counter at the grocery store. I’ve spent 17 years saying, “Hey, sometimes life just isn’t fair!”

6. Wanting things ALL THE TIME. As toddlers, they’re reaching outside the carriage to grab stuff off the shelves then crying when you tell them to put it back or when you take it away. We were told to just be consistent with them when they were younger so they learn they can’t always get something every place we go. When do they finally learn that lesson? My teenagers both have jobs and ask me every freaking day for money for something! What do we hear when we say “No”? That’s right, “It’s not fair!” Ugh

7. They’re selfish. Toddlers have not yet realized there is a world around them. They don’t know what it means to be selfish. They just do their thing and need time to learn to give and share. Teenagers come back around to the selfishness at a whole other level. I sometimes believe that their view of the world is truly with themselves at the center of it and the rest of us here to cater to their every need and let them do whatever they want.

8. They sleep at annoying times. Toddlers go to bed early and wake us at the crack of dawn. Remember when they would finally fall asleep in the car on the 2 hour drive when you were about a minute until arriving home? Teenagers keep me up all night making noise then sleep until noon. Theyre like vampires.

9. They dress themselves and it’s not always pretty. My girls used to mismatch their clothes thinking the top and bottom looked perfect together. They would wear winter boots in summer and insist on a bikini top in the house in winter. Now, my teenage girls are buying themselves clothes that leave me asking where the rest of it is! At least when they were toddlers, their clothing choices were cute.

10. They take things without asking. Has anyone seen my tweezers? Or my nail clippers? Or the nail polish remover? Or my ponytail holders? Or my brush? If you do, please let me know because both girls swear it was NOT either of them!

No matter what age they are, they’ll always need their mama. They scream and yell and throw a tantrum. They take all of their frustrations out on us. Sometimes they even blame us for their frustrations! In the end, however, they always need us, our hugs, and our unconditional love.

I see that other parents have survived raising teenagers, so I know there is hope for us too. Until then, I will continue to take things away if they are not behaving, remind them to clean up after themselves, and do my very best to kiss all the boo boos.

Meanwhile, if you have any good teenage stories that either make the rest of us commiserate or laugh, please share them in the comments! One for all, and all for one!