I grew up a fat kid. My brother and I both did. Well, I mean fat by the standards of the ’80s. That’s very different than now, culturally. I understand that. However, by actual standards of health, we both were not the healthiest we could have been. We would sit together in front of the oven waiting for food to come out. When our mother would come home with the groceries and ask us to help her bring them in, he and I would finish the entire box of deviled dogs before she had the restbif the food put away. As a mom, I now understand how frustrating that really is!!! I will also never forget the time he made me choke on my green beans and I had to blow them out of my nose.

As we got into high school and college, both of us got into loving the gym, eating healthier, losing weight, and enjoying being more active. He was one hell of a strong guy, that’s for sure. I got more into running back then. I’m not sure it ever dawned on me two to three decades ago just how much we had in common, but I guess the list didn’t end in the gym.

I always thought he talked alot. Well, he did. I couldn’t get a word in edgewise. He was louder than me. I definitely did get the chatty gene as well though. I remember all the times my parents would take us out to dinner. I was begging for attention and annoyed not to get it, all because he was louder and interrupted whenever I tried to speak up. We used to have these things that the older crowd may recall, the Want Ads. My brother would read off every, single vehicle in the book over dinner. It would drive me nuts! How did my parents just sit there and let him go on and on?? I mean, when I even start to talk to another adult now, my kids shut me down right away! My father would always say that I got that gene from my mother, but apparently so did my brother, Mike.

Mike was also extremely hilarious. He made us laugh constantly. I would like to think I got that gene too. Again, my kids might disagree, but what the heck do they know? Should you really trust someone who calls everyone “bruh”? It’s interesting as I have gotten older and learned more about myself and about what makes me happy, how much I come back to my roots. So much is in our DNA, of course, but it isn’t something we are aware of in our teens and twenties. I knew he and I looked alot alike. I think I assumed our positive personalities were just the way life in general was supposed to be. I was blessed with so many wonderful, funny friends. I never knew people could get down on themselves and stay there, not bouncing right back up.

At one point in his adult life, my brother discovered Tony Robbins, the motivational speaker. He listened to him constantly and emulated the man and his mission. My brother was a great speaker, so positive, and very motivating. He could finally use his gift of gab and sense of humor for good and not evil! Ha! As I have developed my passions that have become my career, I notice more similarities between the two of us. I am of a positive mindset. I have such a passion to spread that everywhere. As this passion has taken me down the road of speaking, I am realizing how much I love that medium. It is amazing to speak to a group of people and know you have made a difference, created some tiny change in someone that can then bloom and grow. It’s rewarding beyond measure. I was so proud of my brother, the way he held himself, the affect he had on others. He always left a room of people feeling better in some way because he had been there. I realize my life is so much more enriched now, not just back then, because Mike was my brother and because he truly was himself and was following his passion for helping others to become better.

None of this is something that I put any stock into as I have navigated my own career path. Yet here it is. I always say how blessed I was to receive my parents positive perspectives. Lately, I realize that Mike and I both did. He showed me how to use it before I even realized it was a thing. I am so grateful that he was a role model for me. I am certain he never thought of himself as one to his little, bratty sister. He was so wrong. I had that positive outlook and a passion to help others, but he showed me how to use it. He showed me how to pull it out of yourself, especially when it takes you out of your comfort zone. This is where the magic happens, after all. He showed me it was possible to spark something in people that leads to change. It’s a beautiful talent and I am blessed to be able to pass positivity out into the world as well.

I have thought about how cool it would have been to do these things together, he and I. Knowing our goofiness, it would probably turn into a farting comedy duo… He might be telling me about an ’82 ‘vette for sale. There would absolutely be an empty box of deviled dogs. I would definitely have green beans coming out of my nose.

On this, the eve of the 19th year since he passed away, I feel compelled to thank him for his inadvertent role in helping me to form who I am today.