Nostalgia: a sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past, typically for a period or place with happy, personal associations.

I loved my childhood. Perhaps I was one of the lucky ones. I know not everyone has had a great past. I had amazing parents, family, and friends that might have just as well been family. My mother loved cooking and, especially, loved Christmas. Thanksgiving as a kid was filled with cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents. It meant more food than anyone could fathom, especially with my mother and my aunt at the helm of all the cooking. It meant crescent rolls and my mom’s stuffing. It meant olives nobody liked so they were little rocks to fling at a sibling when they weren’t looking. It meant after dinner watching WWF and Macho Man Randy Savage and Hulk Hogan. It meant smells and sounds and voices from people that may not have always gotten along, but were still indicative of love. Every family has times they don’t get along, but Thanksgiving was a time to truly be grateful, for all of our blessings, including each other.

As the years have passed, life has changed, as life does. Many of the people around that extra long Thanksgiving Day table have passed on. Many others have been added to the family. Families have branched off into doing their own dinners with their immediate family or in-laws. The immediate family I grew up with no longer exists. My amazing, sweet, light-hearted mother left us in 2001, shortly after Thanksgiving. Two years later, my brother Mike, the true comedian of the crew, passed on. My husband and I got married and started our own family. In 2015, cancer took him from us and, 3 years later, in 2018 COPD took my dad.

Every Thanksgiving, I have been grateful for those around my table. I am so blessed for each and every person and memory they left me. It still doesn’t stop me from being nostalgic. There is a longing that never quite goes away. It gets stronger during the holidays. This is a time for traditions, after all. It is a time when I cook some of the same recipes that my mother made. It is a time when I remember my loved ones even more and missing them more than usual. I have always believed that when you are missing someone who has passed away, it is because they are right there with you, so close you could almost touch them. This brings comfort and I have no doubt that they are here, celebrating another year with my children and me. A few days ago, my youngest asked me to tell him about my brother, Mike. I told him how hilarious he was and how, even though we could fight like cats and dogs, he could always crack me up. I told him how I know he would have been the BEST uncle, just a big kid himself at heart. I am blessed to have people in my life who knew my mom well. This week, I sat down for lunch with a few of them. It did make me a little sad, but in a good way, if that’s possible? They told me how much my mother wanted grandchildren and how she would have been spoiling them rotten. My children have definitely not lacked being spoiled, I assure you. Their grandfather, my dad, got to meet them all, spend an enormous amount of time with them, and spoil them plenty. I knew they were his heart and soul before he passed away. It isn’t easy, parenting alone. I hear him in my head often, the advice I know he would give me. Maybe I just know this advice because I have my parents as a part of me, no matter how long they have been gone. Either way, again I gain comfort. In a conversation with one of my mother’s friends last week, she told me how my mother was always making her laugh, smile and feel better. She described my mom as always so positive and how she would always tell her to “just relax”, “let things go”, and, my favorite, “you have got to be able to laugh!” I have heard from a few of my parent’s friends that I am very much like my mother. I know I am positive and I certainly love to laugh. It heals! It has been my mission, for the past few years especially, to help others see how good life really is, to help others let things go, and to make people smile. If I am like my mother in these ways, I am more blessed than I could have ever asked. See, I remember my mom the same way. And when I get down, I think of what she would say to me, what she would do. Then, I do it. I let that voice inside of me listen to her and to my father, to their advice. The lessons and life outlook I inherited is a gift. I do miss them so very much. I am a sucker for spending time with old friends and being able to chat about memories back when they were alive.

My experiences have taught me two very important lessons that come in handy all year long, not just at the holidays. I have learned that, although memories can make us sad sometimes, they have every right to be a part of our lives. This is how we remember, learn, and grow. This is how we remember where we came from and who we have become. I have never remembered a time when I was not grateful. I think my experiences just highlight the importance of recognizing our blessings. As much as things can get busy and crazy in life, take the time EVERY DAY to see your blessings. Four of my biggest blessings will be sitting around my table tomorrow with me when we celebrate another year of blessings over our Thanksgiving meal. I give thanks for my past. I give thanks for my present, my children, my friends, the roof over our head that my father built, the love in my life. I give thanks for being able to laugh and for surrounding myself with others that make me laugh too. I give thanks for our future because my faith tells me it will be amazing. I give thanks for each and every one of you reading this. I pray that I have somehow been, and will continue to be, a blessing in your lives. I hope that all of you will stop, look at the people around your table, and know that you too are truly blessed. Happy Thanksgiving!