Where are my positive attitude peeps?  Are you the one who sees the glass as full? The one smiling to make others smile? Are you the cheerleader, the motivator, the  inspirer?  I am.  I want to see the world a better place, but I also want to see that I played a part in making it a happier journey for anyone that meets me. 

By profession, I motivate.  When I personal train clients, it’s my job to get them pumped and believing in themselves so they are better able to crush their goals.  As a wellness coach, it’s my job to help people thrive in all aspects of their lives and to help them find a flow in life that creates the best experiences for them.  When I write, I’m either making someone laugh or inspiring them or giving them hope.  The best is when I can do all three and be relatable.  We all share something in common at some point after all.  When I speak to clients privately or in a group, I aim to help them feel empowered, strong, and excited about what lay ahead. 

What happens when the motivator needs motivating? When the inspiring needs to be inspired? When the hopeful need some hope? We are all human, including those of us who cheer everyone else up.  If you know, you know.  What I find many times is an internal struggle.  If I show that I am human, will I still be able to be the motivator? Will it be a good thing to show vulnerability? As in, allow others to see the human roller coaster of emotions that we all encounter?  Sometimes, we all just need to vent.  My mother always gave me space to cry and vent and get it off my chest (whatever “it” was). Then it was time to regroup and come up with a plan and move forward.  Being able to do this is SO under rated! Imagine not doing it… over and over again… It’s not always easy to be your own cheerleader, especially for years.  I can easily give others advice, reassure them that it’s a strength to know you need to vent.  It’s healthy to get something off of your chest, cry, and then come up with a plan and move on.  But how do we do that when we don’t know where and who and when?  When the motivator needs to vent, many times those they choose to vent to do not know how to respond. They are caught off guard by their belief that somehow the motivator could experience a negative emotion from time to time.

When we have lost a loved one, people know we may breakdown and cry and need to be upset and they expect it. We have support. It’s just like anyone else that goes through something big. When someone has tragedy hit, people are wonderful at being there for them and expect that they need support. What about when the day to day little stuff adds up though? What about then? When you are the positive, happy, smiling one always picking everyone else up and reminding others that the glass is indeed full and they are truly blessed… well what does that translate to when you have a bad day or week or just the normal crap gets to you because you’re a human being?

We are unique individuals, but we will experience all human emotions and that’s ok. I urge my cheerleader friends to allow yourself to be vulnerable and find someone to rely on who won’t judge you or think you’re not the cheerful one in general, just because you had a bad day. Keeping things in and figuring it out on your own sucks after a while. It gets old. I know this because I live it. I also know I am blessed and successful and happy. I am grateful too. We can be all of these things at once! That’s the beautiful, complicated way of being human. Imagine a world where we didn’t judge one another for going through day to day human experiences and coming out scarred? Imagine if we supported one another and made it so those around us knew they could be vulnerable and it was safe? Imagine a world where we reached out to help others, even when they seemed fine?

Please don’t let your friends go day after day and assume all is well. When you ask how someone is doing, really ask and care about their response. Check in on ALL your friends, whether you think they need it or not. When it comes down to it, we all have something that can be heavy, that weighs us down from time to time. We all have stuff we keep to ourselves at the risk of seeming whiny or ungrateful or worrying that we are bugging someone else with our crap. But that’s a difficult world to live in. I think we all feel the weight of that, whether or not we are widows or divorced or have kids or don’t. I recently got some stuff off my own chest and allowed myself not to care if I was looking vulnerable. Thank God I had a person I knew wouldn’t judge and would listen. I am grateful for this cheerleader and for having a cheerleader for a change. Check on your friends. And remind them to check on you. Let’s lighten our loads. Trust me, you’re not alone. You will realize as you connect and open up to others that there are way more people going through the same stuff as you than you think. Too many of us allow it to build up until we think we might break under the weight of it all. Remember, the best therapists are the ones who have their own therapist!

So start today and let’s make the world a lighter place for each other. I’ll dust off my pom poms ready to cheer you on my friend. You’ve got this… and so do I.