For a while now, I believe I have heard many people say something along the lines of, “the world has just become out of control these days”. I agree in many ways. On a personal level, it has been nearly impossible for me to keep up with everything I am supposed to do and want to do. I have spent much time contemplating how to slow life down. I want to stop and enjoy my children. I want to reconnect with friends. We are always “so busy”. There is never a good time. I’ll get to it next week. We can make plans to see each other once every few months. All of that is bullshit and not the way I want to live my life. People are important. Friends and family and strangers too, are the most important part of our lives. Human connection. Time to connect with others and to reflect on who we are as well. Time to connect with nature. Time to slow down.

Having a virus that pretty much shuts down life as we know it across the globe is a blessing in disguise. Listen, people dying is not a blessing. My own father who had underlying conditions died after developing pneumonia two years ago. I get it. I also have a daughter who is immunocompromised. We are used to washing our hands and many other precautions to keep her safe. So I get it. I pray for the families who have lost loved ones. But I also pray for the families who have lost their loved ones to cancer, car accidents, the flu, and any other way at all. Losing people sucks. Period.

But, here’s the thing. Here is where my faith comes in, my thinking beyond the current situation, the bigger picture. This is where you might want to stop reading if talk of God and faith bothers you or isn’t your thing. Because, guys, I believe and I believe BIG TIME in God. My faith is strong and I believe that is a blessing in and of itself!

I have spent months praying to God for life to somehow slow down and give me time to clean and organize things at home and, mostly, to be able to stop and relax with my kids. I got it. We all got it. We all needed it too! Just because we live under one roof doesn’t mean we are connected. We connect through family dinners, conversations, and snuggles. We connect through going through old pictures and telling and retelling stories. We connect through crying about missing dad and laughing about when he had diarrhea on the side of the road. My children connect with my deceased parents through pictures and stories and I smile as I know I am bringing generations together in our own way. The dog reminds us how nice it is when her head is on our laps and just how much she enjoys playing catch. Saying, “Sorry, but I’m too busy. You’ll have to wait” doesn’t exist. Attention is given and absorbed and appreciated!

We have the internet. How amazing of a tool is this? We can take time to facetime or skype or video chat in whatever way to connect with friends around the globe that we never get to chat with because of working and time differences and schedules! We can still get our time in to exercise and do it with live classes. We can take the time to go for a walk and enjoy things we don’t usually notice. We can look up recipes and bake and share goodies. We can use the internet to watch a Broadway play we might not have ever seen. We can decide to learn something new, take a course, learn a language and even do it together with our family.

Guys, the sky is clearer! God said, “You humans are out of control. I will fix this”. And He did! Air pollution has dramatically decreased. In places where there was only smog, there are now beautiful, blue skies! People who have had breathing problems will be noticing this difference as time goes on. Everyone will notice this difference! Water is cleaner. Spring is here and we will see it in more gorgeous ways than we could have imagined! The lens on our camera has been wiped clean. Our pictures will be crisp and new!

People are good, so so good. They always have been. We are seeing people come together. They are singing to each other from balconies across streets or through internet videos. We are checking on our neighbors like we should have done all along. We are encouraging each other. We are making each other laugh through some of the best, craziest memes I have ever seen. Companies are donating food and supplies. Many places are still doing what they can to pay employees. People are realizing how important small businesses are to our communities. Due to having to stop and be at home, many people are now sewing masks for hospitals and getting creative in other ways. I believe that people are learning about themselves and many will change careers or begin new adventures after this time to reflect.

We have amazing people fighting for us and going to work every single day to keep the world running and to make it healthy again. Healthcare workers, truck drivers, postal workers, firefighters, emts, paramedics, police officers, grocery store employees, and the list goes on. Many are working from home as well that are essential to the world running.

Teachers have scrambled and learned to teach online and change lessons in just a matter of days as schools closed around the globe. I am grateful to them. I know they care about my children. I’m hopeful that they will try and be easy on themselves and on parents. God is giving a new opportunity for our children to learn. God sees a world of people who know books, but not life. Parents working cannot oversee a child in their online courses. That is too much on their plate. Parents home are never lacking for something to do either. Taking this time as a break, for bonding instead of arguing over schoolwork, for learning life skills, and for connecting with families is a gift from God. I am hopeful that teachers and administrators will see and appreciate this as much as we as parents appreciate all they do every single day all year long to help our children.

So I say God has given us a gift. He has blessed us in disguise. He has changed the world. It needed to happen. We were killing ourselves and each other in far worse ways than this virus. God has made us stronger and smarter. God always has blessings. They are abundant.

We will get through this. We will do it together. I won’t say life will soon be back to “normal”. It won’t ever be the same, nor should we want it to be! Let’s embrace a new normal. Let’s keep checking on our neighbors, let’s hug more, let’s stop multitasking and, instead, enjoy one thing at a time being in that moment! Let’s make sure we shop local businesses. Take time to chat with others. Stop being in a rush. Schedule less so that you can do less and enjoy each thing more! Continue to read more books. Look at your children when they are talking to you. Stop and pay attention. See your old friends more than once or twice a year. Facetime more. Call more. Just to say hi.

We are all human. We are all doing our best. What is it that we should be doing our best at though? Let us all remember to be kind and enjoy the gifts around us every single day. And let each of us look in our hearts and always remember to keep our human connections and to take care of one another the way God takes care of each of us.

Nothing is ever forever. Good times and bad times will inevitably both change. You lose nothing when you focus on the good. So here are my top 10 good things about the covid-19 quarantine.

1. I don’t have to wear a bra if I don’t wanna.

2. My clothes never have to match.

3. Day drinking has become perfectly acceptable. (Yeah I wouldn’t have judged you before anyways.)

4. I have saved shitloads of money on gas from not driving my 4 kids every effing place on the globe every single day after school.

5. I have time to clean my house. I know this seems sketchy, but, hey, it’s a good thing.

6. I don’t know what day it is and I don’t care

7. I have never seen so many hilarious memes while everyone is home on their phones sending them. I love memes!

8. I don’t care what time we all go to bed and everyone is less grouchy cause they slept in!

9. Watching My Big Fat Greek Wedding and Sweet Home Alabama over and over again.

10. Online dating has never been so interesting!

Whatever is making you happy right now, concentrate on that. I’m going to finish making dinner and feeding my hungry kids. Then we will play games and watch more movies and snuggle. That is a gift from God, my friends! Embrace the positive, wash your hands, and share the effing toilet paper!

4.

My sons class have been doing state projects this year. He absolutely loves researching the states and listening to my stories from the places I’ve been. I have told him about how he had been to the place that invented the hamburger, Louie’s Lunch in Connecticut, when he was about 2. We also talk about how, at the age of 10, he and his siblings have already been to 28 of the 50 states and how each one holds something different to discover.

I visited his class to volunteer and help with the state projects. I myself, having been to 42 of them, was eager to share some fun stories with the kids about each of the states they had chosen to learn more about. This started me thinking about all of the special memories I have from my travels and how important it is to see new places and meet new people. I discovered my love of a good road trip early on with parents that were always up for taking us on an adventure. I learned through traveling with Up With People in 1996 that the best education comes from experience and that you can never learn more than when you’re out of your comfort zone. My cross country road trips with my husband, husband and kids, and then just me and the kids taught me even more about the importance of sticking together as a family. This rings true during tough situations in your own backyard, as well as when you’re in a new place only relying on one another. I still have 8 states to see and so many countries as well. My love for travel and adventure will continue, but so many adventures have already made me who I am today. Here are just a few of the special memories, experiences, and lessons that I have collected from some of the states that I have been fortunate enough to visit.

Colorado: This state is the first one I had ever visited on my own, without my family. It was the beginning of my time as a cast member of Up With People. It was here that I would learn about being homesick. It was here that I would learn that language barriers are nothing to new friends. Denver’s weather taught me to always be ready for anything. Four seasons can absolutely happen in one day there! I also learned that as beautiful as the mountains are, I am an ocean girl. That salt water is in my soul and it always has been.

West Virginia: My experience here always sticks out in my mind. I was 19 years old and doing community service in an elementary school. My eyes were opened when I saw racism firsthand. I had grown up with friends that were caucasian, African American, Asian, Puerto Rican, Cape Verdean and never thought twice about it. I was blessed to live in a community that welcomed everyone. I was fortunate to have learned about racism in history books, but not the playground. Then, flash forward, and here I am in 1996 doing community service with people from several different countries and states, speaking many different languages, and having plenty of various skin tones. There is ONE little white girl here in this class. The other kids were all African American and all bullying her, leaving her out, making fun of what she could or couldn’t do. It was one of those moments when confusion sets in and you don’t know any other way to react, but to remind ALL of the children that we need to get along and that skin color NEVER matters. I was never on the receiving end of racism and I know I am lucky for that. I know even today that it is hard to not be white in this country. I personally think it’s disgusting. There is a song from Up With People, my favorite one they have ever sung. It is called, “What Color is God’s Skin”? I know it by heart. “I said it’s black, brown, it’s yellow, it’s red, it is white. Everyone’s the same in the good Lord’s sight.” Please remember that whether you are black, brown, yellow, red, white, or even purple, it is always ok to be kind and never ok not to be.

Missouri: The best thing that ever happened to me in Missouri was meeting my host family in St. Louis. We were housed when we traveled with UWP in host families. This, by far, was my favorite one. Opening your home to someone, especially a complete stranger, is a gesture that shows a big heart. The Kennedys opened their home and made a spot where they have forever stayed in my heart. Keeping in touch with yearly Christmas cards was nice. Then Facebook changed my world for the better by giving me an easier connection. My husband and I made sure to stop and be “hosted” again when we drove cross country in 2001. I was thrilled when I finally got them up to Cape Cod and a day on the beach. When I think of my time spent in St. Louis, I think of the arch I was too scared to ride up in, the riverboat gambling, and these friends that will always be a part of my life.

New Mexico: I learned quite a bit about the Mormon religion in New Mexico. I may not choose this for myself, but I respect the heart and kindness given to me by a very good friend at the time who was Mormon and her family. Again, an eye opener and another reason to not judge based on media or stories we hear, but to be open to learning about people different than yourself.

Nevada: Here I learned that telling me that, “It’s not so bad if its 120 degrees in the desert because it’s a dry heat” is just bullshit. It’s still hot as hell and uncomfortable and sucks. Best off inside a casino for sure.

Kansas: Bobby and I did a trek across Kansas. The sun was out that day, no rain. Yet it almost seemed like hail or something was hitting the windshield at a rapid rate. We kept having to clean the windshield and use the wipers to see. After a while, we stopped at a Subway for lunch. We went inside and ate. When we came outside and saw the front of the Jeep, it was covered in dead pieces of monarch butterflies! It was so gross to see! I had a problem for a few years after that, thinking butterflies were pretty! I will always remember it “raining butterflies” in Kansas.

Georgia: I have two great memories here. In 1996, I was lucky enough to be at the Olympics in Atlanta. Atlanta was cool, but the feeling surrounding an Olympic Games is amazing. I was part of an Up With People cast that performed at a special opening ceremonies they had specifically for introducing softball as an Olympic sport for the first time. Not THE opening ceremonies, but still super cool. Years later, my kids and I fell in love with Savannah. The gorgeous city is filled with the coolest ghost stories, eclectic restaurants, beautiful scenery, and, of course, it was the first time I visited a place where I could walk down the street drinking an alcoholic beverage! Oh, and also people are way nicer in the South. It’s a fact. Not that we think we are rude up here, but you can see a difference as you drive south or west out of the Northeast.

Louisiana: We wanted to check New Orleans off the bucket list. So, one day, we decided to drive from Mobile, Alabama over to see the city. We had no idea that the traffic easily rivaled New York City. FOUR HOURS. That’s how long the drive took. The bumper to bumper traffic was definitely not my style, especially not with 4 kids, including a 3 year old that needed to pee! My older son had previously helped his brother pee in a bottle before, only to get his hand peed on. So, this time, the younger of my two daughters volunteered to help. She got a cup for him to pee in and helped him maneuver around his seatbelt to get his little wee wee out. As she was trying to aim it into the bottle, I heard the screaming. “HE JUST PEED ALL OVER MY SHIRT AND MY FACE! ITS IN MY EYE!!!!” This was definitely NOT funny to her, but holy crap did the rest of us laugh! I’ll never forget that ride and I am sure she won’t either!

Vermont: Ben and Jerry’s and a marathon. This is where I ran my very first marathon. Memorial Day weekend 2002 I ran the Vermont City Marathon in Burlington, VT. I did it with my husband and my awesome cousin. We raised $12,000 for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society 5 months after my mom had lost her fight with AML. It was a gorgeous course and a very emotional run. It was one of the best things I have ever done and one of the most beautiful races I have ever run. A few years ago, I went back up to VT. I took my kids this time and surprised them with a little road trip. We had a blast! Lake Champlain was breathtaking, although cold to swim in and the Ben and Jerry’s tour and free ice cream was definitely a hit for us all!

Maine: I had never really grown up going to Maine, since we always spent the summers on the Cape or went south. I didn’t grow up skiing either. For a few years before my husband died, we would see friends on social media posting their pictures from Point Sebago Resort up in Casco. It looked like so much fun, a modern day “Dirty Dancing” type vacation. I was far more into travelling and planning new adventures than Bobby, so we never got up there. Then he died in May of 2015. I decided that this was going to be the summer. I called and booked a cabin. I packed up a weeks worth of everything I could think we would need and drove up for our inaugural visit. That was 5 years ago. This summer we will have our 6th trip up there. We all fell in love. I found that I was relieved in a sense that we had never taken the trip when Bobby was alive. It might be strange for someone else to understand, but it gave my children and I a chance to make new memories. We always remember him in the things we do and the places we go. Up there though, it’s different. We don’t have to also carry an air of sadness remembering the time we did something there with him. This is also a place where all of my kids can do their own thing and be happy while I actually sit on the beach and read a book. It truly has become the one week a year that I really do relax!

I have far more memories than I have been able to relay in just a blog post. Many more places I have seen and people that I have met. Traveling is the best education I have ever received and given to my children. The lessons and memories are always so unique and irreplaceable. I will conclude with just one more state…

Massachusetts: Well, this is where I have been born and bred. I love seeing new places, but there really is nothing like coming home. This is where my life has always been anchored. Through the losses and the gains, the friends and the family, the loved ones lost and the loved ones born, to our history, our sarcasm (Proud to be a Masshole), our foliage, and the sunsets over the ocean, this is home. As the saying goes, there’s no place like it!

When I met my husband, I was dating another man at the time.  It wasn’t anything serious.  It was reasonable to date and still have male friends.  I think I may have been oblivious, to be honest.  I was always quite naive.   I was being honest when I told Bobby (my future husband) that he should come over and be my guinea pig, tasting the food that I wanted to cook for the guy I was dating!  I was really, really naive…  He drove the hour to see me and I made us dinner.  It was delicious, he told me.  We watched the movie that was both of our favorite.  We sat on the couch and he told me how great he was at belly button kisses and I was still oblivious to him possibly liking me.  After the movie, I innocently told him he could sleep in my room if he wanted.  He followed me upstairs and I pointed to one twin bed telling him it was mine, but that he was welcome to sleep in the other twin bed on the other side of the room.  Oh, looking back…I was REALLY NAIVE.  He slept over in the other twin bed.  The next day we golfed 9 holes.  I was having a blast.  I never thought twice. I was just having fun.  That second night together, we went to see a local band.  I remember dancing and having a great time.  On the way home, we stopped at the beach.  We got out and went onto the sand and I sat down.  He sat behind me.  That was the first time my heart went in my throat and it dawned on me that it was possible he was not looking at the last 2 days as two new friends just hanging out.  When he kissed me, I remember I said, “Please don’t do that unless you really mean it.” He kissed me again.  Two years later, that was the same place where he proposed to me. 

Five years ago, after Bobby died, I was left with a whirlwind of emotions and responsibilities. After that first 8 or 9 months, I decided that I needed to get out of the house and be social. Raising four kids was consuming me. I didn’t want something crazy with a man, just a chance to get a break from my kids and enjoy adult conversations. Being social, for me, is self care. I met a few really great guys, some whom I am happy I can call my friends now. I also met some men with…um…questionable morals. Being naive made me think that because I was honest and kind, everyone else should be too! Like most life lessons, that wasn’t an easy one to learn. I have had some fun dating and love meeting new people, but I have also noticed patterns in people and in myself, as well as learning to never be surprised by behaviors. People always keep life interesting.

When I set out to write about men, women, dating, relationships, etc, I did not want to write from a soap box. I am not a relationship expert in the least! I have learned SO MUCH, but hopefully we all have. I have my opinions for sure, but I also notice they continue to be challenged. So, instead of preaching my own opinion on the matter, I chose to do a little “research”. I asked just over 50 people the same question. I tried to make sure I had a broad demographic range. The people polled ranged in age from 20 to 70+, varied in marital status, sexual orientation, and gender. There are also variations on past relationship history and current relationship history. The question I asked stemmed in all honesty from a frustration with dating in general and a true desire to learn what might lead to “success”. These people were asked, “What do YOU believe is the most important quality to have to make a relationship successful? And, do you believe that you exhibit this quality?”

After asking, getting answers, and having a few really good conversations, I made a spreadsheet. Here is what I found. Among single individuals, whether they have never been married or are divorced and whether they currently have a partner or not, the most common answers were “communication” and “honesty”. The age range for these answers didn’t seem to matter. Among people who were married, claimed they had overall wonderful relationships, and also especially with people in longer marriages, the answers were more surprising. These people listed compatibility, humor, knowing you are equal partners, teamwork, staying true to who you are and being with someone who appreciates that, and knowing how to let go of the little things.

I have thought about this quite a bit and had conversations with others about these “results” as well. The people who have made it work for years are much more specific in their answers. I am guessing, perhaps, when their relationships first began that maybe the answers would be different, but I am thinking we single folk should learn from them. They are successful because they are forgiving and flexible. They each have humility when it is warranted. They know who they are as a person and as they have grown into that person, their partner has done the same for themselves and both appreciate the other and their journey. They have things in common, compatibility, hobbies and adventures they have shared and will continue to share and create memories. They have humor! They are able to laugh at themselves and each other and let go of what really doesn’t matter!

Now all of this makes perfect sense to me, but let’s go back to our other answers from my fellow singles. Let’s start with communication. What does that mean? Think of your definition. Do you believe that everyone would agree with you? Is your definition general or specific? Would your way of communicating ensure that a partner would understand your feelings, your wants, and your needs? We are all so different. We have had different role models growing up. Our role models, in general, teach us how to behave in our relationships based on theirs. Now, there are definitely times when this is not true. Some I know have sworn that they will not repeat what they grew up seeing. However, that then takes tremendous courage, to change an upbringing. Society also shows us various ways relationships can work or not work. Communication is a very broad term. How you express yourself and how your partner expresses themselves may be so different. This makes understanding each other impossible, unless both partners are willing to put in the work for change. How many of us are stubborn? How many of us just assume that if the other person doesn’t “get” us, it’s their fault? How many people think they are effectively communicating, but don’t realize that their way is simply not understood by the other person? I know I am guilty of this. I admit it. I believe I have learned to communicate much more effectively over the past 5 or so years than I ever have before having to date again. I also know that I have thought I was communicating effectively, yet the other person truly did not “get it”. I have been quick to run, when maybe a better response would be a conversation and an effort to try to change how I communicate so my partner could better understand me and my needs. Plenty of “matches” out there just aren’t meant to be for one reason or another, and communication might still lead two people to realize they aren’t compatible or meant for each other, but it also can’t hurt to try. Of course, the only success, I believe, would come from an effort from BOTH partners. Remember, we are not out to lose ourselves, only to try for that teamwork for the betterment of the relationship at stake.

Ok, now let’s take that other popular answer among our singles. Honesty. I would guess that the relationships with longevity have been that way because both partners are honest with themselves and one another. I would also guess that they did not list this as most important because it’s a given, or should be. Who is raised to lie, after all? Honesty is a quality we are all taught to possess from a very young age. We are usually punished if we lie. As we get older, we realize there is a very yucky feeling (or should be!) inside of us if we lie. Those who know me, know that I am an honest person. I tend to be “too honest” if that’s a thing. I cannot be fake to save my life. If you ask me my opinion on your shoes or your make up, or your life choices, I will tell it to you whether you like it or not. We live in a society where not everyone wants the truth. The truth can certainly hurt. That’s a fact. The truth also stops a number of hurts from ever occurring! Being honest with someone shows respect, helps you to be trusted, and enhances that tricky thing we call “communication”! People who answered “honesty” as the most important quality for them, in most cases, had been lied to. It hurt them. Perhaps honesty would have hurt them as well, especially if cheating was involved, but, in the longterm, the honesty will always be the better option.

I am not going to lie, hearing answers and having these conversations has opened my eyes to my own past behaviors, as well as the men I have been involved with along the way. I am only responsible for my own behavior. They are responsible for theirs. You are responsible for yours. However, I see where more conversations and less throwing in the towel could be far more effective and less hurtful.

Sometimes I wonder what Bobby would say to all of this. Sometimes I just wish I could have him back and not have to go through the crazy dating rollercoaster. That’s not the case though. He told me to make sure I found a good one because I am young and still have fun to be had and deserve to have someone by my side. I agree with him. Some people are perfectly content to go about their business alone. I like my alone time too. I’m also raising 4 kids alone and that takes up a lot of my time and energy. Mostly, I am working on being me and staying true to that. I have goals, personal and professional, and I intend to crush them, create new goals, and never stop learning and growing. This makes me whole. Nobody will ever complete me. I’m doing that for myself. The goal is for a partner, an equal. It exists, for us all. I am not quite sure what you will do with this information. I can tell you for certain, don’t sell yourself short. Don’t settle. Don’t be stubborn. Be open and willing to bend a little and let go of what doesn’t matter, in the pursuit of what truly does. And, if you happen to be like me, and you’ve lost your best friend who you were lucky enough to be truly and madly in love with, then stand with me in knowing that lightning does strike twice. It will all happen again. In fact, we may never even see it coming and maybe that’s the best way.

Have you ever walked into one of those houses where everything is neat? Perhaps your own house is neat and clean and tidy. There is no clutter. The floors sparkle. There are no cobwebs on the ceilings in those hard to reach corners. The couch looks new. There are no water bottles half empty on the table. The toys are all in bins, maybe even with all the pieces. There are no dishes in the sink, no clothes in the washer starting to smell because they still haven’t been put into the dryer. There are no curious and unknown sticky liquids inside the bottom of the refrigerator. Shoes are only on the mat by the door. Coats are hung up in the hallway. There is not even little boy pee on the toilet seat. I have seen these houses. I have had playdates in these houses. I have gone to parties in these houses. My house is not one of them. If your house is neat and clean and tidy, I am truly happy for you. I just have no idea how you do it. Do you have children? Does your spouse/mom/dad/etc. help you? Are your children older and moved out? Can you afford a cleaning service? I dream of my house someday being one of these dust bunny free spaces. I try hard to achieve it. But, for now, we do messy.

I have four kids. I am a single mom. I would like to think that I am rocking this gig just based on the fact that my children are fed and clothed and have wifi. However, things are messy. The house is messy. We have stuff. No matter how much I seem to throw away, it seems like it just keeps coming out of no where. We have busy, messy lives. This leaves me minimal time for cleaning. Speaking of messy lives… We do not do anything seamlessly. There is nothing graceful about our messy life. We lay out everything for school the night before, but inevitably the morning is rushed. We oversleep or someone can’t find breakfast or their shoes or both. We do screaming and hurrying and oh-so-messy to get out the door for school and work. I take the back roads to try to make it faster and avoid traffic while we check the clock. Then I drop the high schooler off with just enough time for her to fly to class and not be marked late. We finish doing drop offs and I get my messy ‘have a good day’ kisses and get back in the very messy car. Yes, the car… I get in other vehicles sometimes and they are so clean. It’s like a witch must own it. There is nothing sticky in the door handle. There is no moldy food stuck to the floor in the backseat. There are no empty water bottles that fall out when they open the door. A witch…my only explanation. I drive to work in my messy car and tell myself I really need a trash bag and 5 minutes to clean this up. I work at 3 different gyms. Also, those 4 kids I have, yeah they go to 3 different schools in 2 different towns. So I drive and drive and drive (in my messy car). I get home sometimes with time to shower or eat lunch before I need to start to pick everyone up in the afternoon. As I look for lunch, I realize I haven’t gotten groceries in a while. I figure out what to eat, but it is a messy process. I shower as fast as I can, thinking that maybe it will give me time to clean something. It rarely does. After school is as messy as it can get. Pick one up at 2:20, next one at 4, then onto the 3rd. They get in the messy car and head to our messy house. I yell about not leaving backpacks right in front of the doorway. I ask them to please not be so messy. It doesn’t matter. I walk in and trip over shoes that could have just as easily gone on the shoe mat as they did in the middle of the kitchen. They’re hungry and want a snack even though I’m going to start supper. Oh and I should mention the microwave broke! Try living without a microwave with 4 kiddos. Two words: pioneer days. I listen to their stories about the day they have had. They all talk at once. Its very messy. Then they fight. Again. And again. And again. Sometimes I wish I could just tie them together and hose them down. Would still be messy, just more fun, at least for me. We figure out dinner. I get the boys showered, uniforms laid out, lunch boxes packed. I start to put food away from dinner and clean up when I get the text from my oldest (but not messiest) child. She is on her way back from the away game and needs me to go pick her up. By now I have changed my clothes and shouldn’t be allowed anywhere, but Walmart. Out the door I go again! About 45 minutes later I am back home. I tuck the rest of the crew in, stare at the dishes (which I hate!) and walk upstairs. They’ll be there tomorrow. They always are!

It’s not just the day to day that’s messy. Our normal outings or adventures always look chaotic and crazy to outsiders. After all, it is again quite messy, but it’s how we do it and it works. Take, for example, when we go to the movies. My only saving grace is being able to get the tickets and seats ahead of time online. This way, when we are late, we don’t miss as much or, hopefully, just the previews. There is one large popcorn and small plastic cups. Each person gets their own cup that I fill for them and pass down. Pretty much I spend movies filling cups of popcorn until they slow down. Don’t ask me what happened at the beginning of a movie, but I do love that, after I finally decompress, I always see the end! I do love the movies. It is usually the one place where eventually, after everyone gets their popcorn, candy, and drinks, they are all calm and interested and I can sit and relax.

A strong family should always make sure they communicate with each other. We are absolutely a strong family and we definitely communicate. It is almost always messy. There is problem solving (one kid stealing the remote for a turn). There is mediating (she said this, he did that). There is taking responsibility (I saw HER do it Mommy!). There is decision making (I don’t want THAT for dinner). There is yelling to get a point across. Eventually, there is calm, forgiveness, and peace on earth (for 5 minutes).

I would like to think that, at some point, every one of us has had a “messy” life. I wasn’t always like this, after all. I’m in the trenches. This is survival. This is how it’s getting done for this chapter of MY book of life. It works for us. It may sound all bad, but it’s really not. There are pluses to this messy chapter. After all, I would never trade in those wonderfully, sloppy, messy little boy kisses that I get over and over again.

I remember the day clearly. It was eighteen years ago, but still it’s all burned into my memories like it was yesterday. I remember my dad needing his pills and all of us being so tired, but just not wanting to leave her side. She knew that too. Moms and their kids, that’s special stuff right there. I remember the ICU nurse telling me that I needed to do whatever it was that would make me feel best, since these are moments we never get back. I finally decided that since nobody would leave without me, I would go home so we could all get some sleep. The next day, we woke up and drove straight back to Boston. We walked into the ICU at 11:59am. The nurses grabbed us to come in right away because she was passing. We went and prayed over my mom as she passed away at noon on December 23, 2001. She had battled leukemia for just 3 short months. It was a whirlwind. I remember my aunt telling me her clock was blinking noon when she walked in the bedroom, but only that clock and she hadn’t lost power. She knew that was my mom’s sign to her that she had passed. They were very close sisters.

The days that followed were so strange. It was surreal. How could my mom be gone? She was 62. I was 25. That just isn’t fair. Thank God for friends. They were there, supporting me and my family with whatever we needed. Most of the time I didn’t even know what it was I needed.

It’s a really hard thing, to lose someone so close to you.  It’s impossible to reason or to even have a healthy perspective.  That takes time.  I didn’t like that it took time. I wanted to be ok right away.  But I wasn’t.  Not even close.  I didn’t give up. I never do. I had two great parents that showed me giving up is never an option. It’s all how you move forward. I got married without my mom and had kids without my mom. I am so grateful that she is inside of me in so many ways. I am also grateful for the women who stepped up to help me when I had no clue and no direction.

It’s funny. I am ok now. I still miss her like hell, but I’m ok. I wonder how it would have been if she were still alive. She always wanted grandchildren. I know that I would not have to leave my kids alone as much. My house would be neater. I would probably be able to cook less too, even though I love it. I wonder if I would be a different mom though. Our experiences shape who we become and change us along the way, whether we like it or not. Perhaps I would not be as protective. Perhaps I would not have started some of the traditions I now have with my children. I wonder how they would be different with her as a grandmother. I wonder if we would butt heads and fight.

I don’t wonder if she would be proud. I’m a mom. We know we are always proud of our children as long as they’re doing their best. I am definitely doing my best. I am grateful for my mom. I am grateful for her sweet bread, her chicken and rice, her shepard’s pie. I am grateful for her silliness and her love of “a little something sweet” that I too possess. I am grateful I got her legs and her smile. I am grateful I look at the world as a good place, people as good, that I always want to help, and that the glass is full. I am grateful that I can pass a healthy outlook on life and our place in this world down to my children. I am grateful that, although I miss both of my parents dearly, I know they had a rare love and are together celebrating it now.

I miss that crazy, funny, and sometimes Irish-tempered lady (yup, inherited that too). I am grateful for all the memories and to be able to share them with my own crazy, funny, and, yes, also sometimes Irish-tempered kids.

Thanks Mom. For it all.❤

Fall and pumpkin bread are synonymous in my house. I don’t mean just any pumpkin bread. I mean my mom’s pumpkin bread. Every year, by August, my kids are asking when I’m going to make Grandma Joan’s famous pumpkin bread again!? I like to wait until it feels like fall is in the air, until leaves start to become orange and red and yellow. Last week, I checked and had all my ingredients in the house. I announced that I would be making it…and the crowd went wild. It was a school night, but everyone needed to stay up to have some. Pumpkin bread is allowed to break the rules.

It makes me think about being a kid. When my mom would bake it, my brother Mike and I would sit outside the oven door on the kitchen floor and just stare at it, waiting. As soon as it came out of the oven, we would start begging her for a piece. She insisted it needed to cool for at least 10 minutes to even cut it and that if we ate it while it was too hot, we would get a belly ache. She was talking to the two kids that could easily finish off an entire box of devil dogs she had just bought before the rest of the groceries had even been put away. Deaf ears, but good try Ma. If you’ve known me long enough, then you have probably been lucky enough to know why we obsessed about it back then and why my kids still obsess about it today. Mike and I would usually eat an entire loaf if she let us.

I know I am similar to most, when I say that food stirs up memories. It takes me into a home movie that’s been safely tucked back into my brain. Creating the smells and tastes that my mother created before me is like looking through a photo album. I see the faces and remember the stories. I couldn’t love that more! My favorite part of cooking and baking is what I’m giving to my children. It’s more than food. It’s a connection for them, to me and to where they come from. I grew up in a home where food brought people together and was shared and enjoyed. It’s in my blood to continue to celebrate all it gives.

My mom’s pumpkin bread and the memory it gives me with my brother is so wonderful to me. It is especially meaningful because the fall also makes me think of Mike more than usual. He passed away on October 10th. Next week will mark 16 years since he was given his angel wings. I was a lucky girl to have a big brother. We fought sometimes, usually over the tv, food, or the front seat in the car, but he had my back. I always knew that he did. He was just a normal, genuine guy. He had quite a few friends. His personality attracted people, especially his sense of humor.

I do have tons of memories with Mike of so many different things, but the ones involving food seem to stand out. I guess when you’re both fat kids, that would happen! We also were blessed with a mother who really did know how to cook! I remember her shepards pie. I make that now for my own family. As a kid, I hated the mashed potatoes and my brother hated the meat. It was the perfect team. We switched and gave each other what we didn’t want. We wouldn’t dare waste food! We fought over mom’s deviled cocktail meatballs. Fresh bread was heaven and still makes my inner fat kid smile. Bringing freshly baked malasadas dripping grease through the paper bag into my house was the equivalent to waving the red flag at the bull run. Good luck getting out alive when Mike and Kelly ran your way! My parents would take us to a place called The Riverside where kids would “pay what you weigh”. They may have paid more than other parents, but it sure must have been cheaper than paying for what we would usually order. On that same note, buffets were the best! Mike and I heard that word and became instantly giddy.

Ice cream has always been a big thing for us. When Mike was probably a tween or so, he entered a hot fudge sundae eating contest. He said he just wanted a free sundae and he certainly enjoyed just that! One of his favorite things to eat was a brownie sundae: fudge brownie, vanilla ice cream, hot fudge, whipped cream, and a cherry. It became well known as his thing amongst his friends.

Sunday mornings my mom would always get us out of bed by promising to go out to breakfast after church. I continue this tradition wth my children. Sunday morning breakfasts are the best! The week is crazy and hectic and we don’t always get a chance to connect, but we can count on Sunday mornings.

When we got older and my mom worked, she didn’t always want to cook and my dad would be the first to take us out. I recall many dinners at the Ground Round in the mall near my house with my parents and Mike. We all went in so many directions all day, but this gave us the captive audience. I remember times when it was hard to chew and swallow because of laughing so hard. Again, food bringing us together.

Mike could always make me laugh. I know so many others that would say the same. We all have great stories about him and they’re always about something hilarious he said or did. I am blessed to still have his friends in my life that can help me keep his memory alive for my children. I am especially grateful for the ones who help me celebrate his life every year with a brownie sundae.

In loving memory of Michael David Fernandes February 5, 1972- October 10, 2003

I stared out my door into a group of close to 200 people, on my deck, around my yard, singing karaoke, and standing at the keg. It was a sea of red and white, of that famous insignia of the pair of socks, and the “B” that is recognizable by even the non sports fans. The Red Sox jerseys, t-shirts, sweatshirts, and hats: everywhere you looked was the tribute. This wasn’t because the Red Sox had just won the world series. This wasn’t just a Red Sox themed party. This tribute was to my husband. This tribute was to honor the memory of a man that lived and breathed the sport of baseball and the Boston Red Sox. This is what you do with your husbands friends and your own friends after you have to bury your him because cancer sucks. You take his two favorite things, beer and the Red Sox, and you have one hell of a kegger where everybody wears Red Sox gear. This is where, even your sweet friends from NY that you haven’t seen in years drive 4 hours to be here for you and stop on their way to buy Red Sox hats that you know they’ll never wear again. This is when one of your husbands friends and his wife who works for team brings bobble heads for everyone to take home, a special bag for each of your children with memorable items from the team, and a legit Jersey that she had made with your last name on the back for everyone to sign with a sharpie so it can forever be a keepsake. This is just what needs to be done when baseball was such a huge part of our lives because of Bobby.

We met in May of 2000. I was all about hockey and football, but always a Boston fan through and through for the Sox and Celtics too. He was 100% Red Sox, although he followed all sports and remembered sports stats like a genius. I told him baseball was boring and that it was a game, not a sport. The guys weren’t all exactly in the best shape, after all. This was a common conversation teasing him and him giving it right back. He was cute so I let him talk me into going to Fenway with him. I enjoyed the atmosphere and even got into the games, but still had a hard time watching at home unless we were playing the Yankees or it was the world series. As time went on, I couldn’t help but absorb more of that baseball love. For my following birthday, we went to Chicago to Wrigley and I absolutely loved the nostalgia. The history behind the game was what swooned me. That following summer, he and I drove across the country. We made stops at Busch Stadium, Coors Field, and Camden Yards. That first year we were together I got to see both Sammy Sosa and Mark McGwire play.

We got married on July 24, 2004. This day became famous in the baseball world. We had a morning wedding, afternoon reception, and a whole lot of people back at our house after to watch the Sox vs the Yankees (yes, on my wedding night). This was the game that Jason Varitek clocked A-Rod and both benches cleared for the brawl that followed. Some say this was a night that changed Red Sox history. I know it became important in my house because it was definitely the reason I had a husband who ALWAYS remembered our anniversary!

When our kids were born, Bobby swore he would be the dad that coached everything, and he did. He couldn’t wait for the kids to turn 4 so he could get them into the town rec t-ball, then junior baseball after that. Our first 2 kids being girls, they gravitated more towards cheer, dancing, and gymnastics as they got older. When our 3rd came along and was a boy, well that was a game changer in his mind.

We are pretty lucky to live on Cape Cod for so many reasons, but come summertime, one of the best things the Cape offers is the CCBL. This stands for the Cape Cod Baseball League, the top league for summer ball in the nation. Every summer we can head over to one of the fields any given night and see the top college baseball players from sea to shining sea play America’s favorite pastime. It’s a wooden bat league and hearing that crack is a pretty cool sound. Watching these guys play is nothing less than thrilling. This is history and tradition and nostalgia paired with hard working young men lucky enough to get a chance to be here, seeing those scouts at the games, and doing all they can to be taken as soon as they’re draft eligible.

Bobby and I used to take the dog down to the field to sit on a blanket and watch these guys play. He would recite the stats and I would always wonder about the psychology behind it all. How did they always seem so cool and collected? How did the pitcher not choke? These guys aren’t just college kids though. These young men are the blood, sweat, and tears of the game.

Eventually, we left the dog at home to bring the kids. When our 1st son, Brody was 2, we decided to become a host family for the CCBL. We heard the players stay with local families and my husband thought that sounded like a lot of fun. We got our first player. After that we hosted 3 years in a row, 6 young men altogether. We formed some wonderful, lasting bonds with some great guys and their own families as well. The last year we hosted was the summer before Bobby was diagnosed with cancer and our lives were forever changed. The outpouring of love from my “summer sons” was amazing. Those close enough to pay respects did so in person. Those too far away sent comforting messages and mentioned how special my husband had been to them.

Bobby had always coached t-ball in the spring. The spring he was sick, I stepped in and coached with a sweet friend because otherwise Brody said he didn’t want to play. Bobby died in the middle of the season. Brody was 5. His dad was his best friend. He refused to play baseball anymore. That summer, we had to forget about hosting for the college boys. I had 1 guest room and spent the next 4 summers filling it with friends or their older kids who had the summer off and could help me with my kids and give me an extra set of hands around the house. I am blessed that so many people were willing and able to help me when I was left to be a single mom to 4 kids between the ages of 9 and 18 months.

Every spring when baseball season came around, I would ask Brody if he wanted to play. Every year he said no. He said he hated baseball and it was boring. I never needed him to have it be his sport and I never pushed him to play it, but it has been so difficult to see something that was so loved become hated because he associates it with his dad dying. It has broken my heart, really. Baseball has been such a huge part of who we all are for so long.

I have made it a point to keep an eye on where our former college guys are now and, thanks to social media, we have kept in touch fairly well. My kids are older now. They are more independent and don’t need the extra hands they did a few years ago. They have begged me every year to get baseball players again. This year, I agreed it was time. We also finally had a player close enough to road trip and visit. My kids are obsessed with our favorite right fielder and it was awesome to see my boys in their glory. It is so important to put positive role models in our kid’s lives and I am grateful beyond measure to have that! Brody played some baseball in gym and told me he was really good at it so I asked him if he thought he wanted to play again, but he still said, “no”.

June was approaching and so the arrival of our latest college ball players was getting closer. We were hosting 2 young men and the kids and I were all excited, not discussing much else at the dinner table. I noticed Brody seemed a bit distant, sad even, not really like himself. His teacher mentioned it on Friday that week as well. When I picked him up from school that day, I brought it up. He immediately started to cry and I pulled the car over, got out, and opened his door to hug him. He said, “Mom, I really am excited to be having baseball players come stay with us again, but it just makes me really sad too because the last time we hosted, Dad was still alive. So it makes me really, really miss him so much.”

Here is what I said, “Brody, it’s kind of like losing my mom. She loved to cook and she gave me that love, one of the best gifts she could have ever given me. When I cook her recipes and smell those smells, I am taken back. It makes me feel closer to her. It makes me sad, but it also gives me a chance to have a piece of her back in my life, even if it’s just for a little bit. Daddy loved baseball. He gave us all a love for baseball. It’s been missing from our lives for 4 years, even if we haven’t known it. By getting back into hosting, we are getting baseball back into our lives in a positive way. It makes us sad because we think of Daddy and miss him, but it also gives us a piece of him, even if it’s just for the summer.” I reminded him that it’s ok to be sad, as I always do, but he said that he liked that idea of having a little bit of Daddy back.

Now that I have my “summer sons”, I have realized that Brody really hasn’t been the only one needing this piece of Bobby back. I was inside making dinner and listening to my 4 kids and my 2 new big kids playing capture the flag. The true joy of the laughs and screams made my heart soar. Going to games again and screaming when your guy is at the plate or on the mound is an excitement that I almost forgot how much I loved and still do. I am cleaning up more dishes, being eaten out of house and home, and having my washer full of uniforms, but I am also seeing my children have a chance to have more positive role models in their lives, I’m having a blast looking at stats, and I’m in pure heaven screaming my ass off for my guys. You start to care about them quickly and you want to see them do well. As a mom, we want our kids to be happy. As a host mom we want that too. We also want to see these guys succeed, but we know they already have by being picked to play Cape ball in the first place.

I’m not really sure these young men are aware of the positive impact they have on the people around them, especially my children. There is a camp each team puts on weekly in the summer for the kids. My 5 year old decided to do it a long time ago, the first time I mentioned it. Brody, however, kept saying no. Last week, Brody and I were in the car together. Out of the blue he said, “Hey Mom, I decided I wanna do the baseball camp this summer.”

Healing happens differently for every person and with every loss. We will spend the rest of our lives continuing to heal in one way or another as different experiences and stages come and go. For the summers though, we will heal just a little more with every crack of that wooden bat.

Play ball!!!

Dear Bobby,

Friday marks 4 years. I’m choking. It’s hard to breathe. Why does it still have to be like this? Every year. May hits. It’s raw all over again, like it happened yesterday. The rest of the time, mostly, I am fine. I am hopeful and positive and genuinely enjoying life, looking forward and having fun along the way. But these anniversaries roll around and BOOM! I’m hit, knocked off my feet, confused, in a fog. I know it’s normal. I know I am still strong. I know it will pass and the good memories will flow without choking and tears again. Anniversaries, however, suck!

So, another year without you physically here….

I know you’re always with us, always listening and always helping. You wouldn’t have it any other way.

This year was filled with more changes, as life always holds. The biggest change was the girls’ school closing. That was really difficult for them and for me. They ended up both home again for this year until they go back to public school next year.

Joni is a fucking rockstar. There is no way else to put it. I am proud of all of our children in different ways, but this kid just blows me away with her maturity and willingness and desire to help me and our family. There is something every single night for someone and I am out driving them around. The nights that she doesn’t have an activity, she happily makes us all dinner. She is such a good cook too! She likes things clean and tidy and really does all she can to help me with the others being slobs. She is also hilarious in that very sarcastic, dry way. She gets that sarcasm from me and I am so proud. Her and I go at it like best friends and get the best belly laughs, the way you and I would or the way my family used to be growing up. She is going to high school in a few months!! That blows my mind! I watch old home videos and see her, a little peanut with that high pitched voice and the tiniest features. Now she is a gorgeous young woman. Don’t worry, I’ve applied for my LTC. At least you would like the boys that she is friends with. They are definitely great kids from great families. We are blessed!

Hanna is 12. So, there’s that. I love the hell out of her and she can be so helpful and wonderful when she wants to be. But, hormones. Ugh. I am sure I will survive another tween. I hope. I can only imagine the hell you would be in when 3 females get PMS at the same time. She has found a love for tennis and field hockey this year. She doesn’t love schoolwork, but is so smart and looking forward to joining some of her old friends for school in the fall. She has gotten very girly. She always kind of has been, I suppose. She loves style, nails, hair, etc. She does a great job when she gets creative. I love that about her.

Brody is still my perfect little man. (Shhh…) He loves football, just like his mama! It’s all he wants to do. I try to help him and I am getting quite the arm myself. You would be proud! He has awesome grades and loves his friends. I do not understand his humor, but I laugh. I am pretty sure it is 9 year old boy poopy fart superhero humor mostly. He seems to crack up with his friends though so I’ll take it. He misses you so much. It still breaks my heart. Today 2 different kids at school mentioned something about dads and it made him come home upset. It really isn’t fair. I try whenever I can to place positive male role models in his life. I know he needs that. We have a few good friends who Brody looks up to and that makes me happy. There is still a void that I can’t fill and that sucks.

Maddox is 5 now. He has more energy than you can imagine and is so athletic! He loves his friends at preschool and will go to kindergarten next year. I wish I could keep him home and homeschool him for a few years at least, as I was able to do with the others, but I wear too many hats. It’s hard to accept really. That one on one time I got with the other three, I want it with him too! He is so adorable and mischievous. He is a horrible eater and we are working on it. He won’t even try anything new, acts like we’re poisoning him! He is very dramatic about everything. I should have him in a drama club. He did hip hop this past year and his show is coming up. That will be a sight to see, I’m sure!

So, then there’s me. The crazy, burnt out, trying to stay head above water, smiling and hoping and praying single mom of four. The lonely is the worst. I miss my sharing partner. I miss talking about the good and fighting about the bad. I miss having a hand around the house. I miss your smile, your green eyes, your arms, and your hugs. I miss so much about you. I know you’re always here. I see the signs everywhere. You loved Janet Jackson. Today, while thinking of you and upset, her song “Miss you Much” came on the radio. Thank you for being there. I am trying to get rid of the lonely, find other adults, but it’s not as easy as it sounds! I’m sure men think it’s a huge score to meet a widow with 4 young children! Ha! I am so busy with them too! I am happy and blessed for good friends that check on us and bring the wine! I am learning with time, that every year that goes by, I don’t miss you less. The missing you is deep. I know now that will never change. I will never be able to “move on”. I am, instead, still trying to learn how to move forward with you in my heart always. You’re a part of me, ever since we met in May of 2000. We became a part of each other. That is something special. That is something difficult for most to understand, but understanding it now, for me, creates a huge step in the right direction.

I do not know what year 5 without you will hold for us. I can only pray that the blessings are plentiful and that your signs from heaven never stop showing themselves and making me smile.

Love you lots. Miss you forever. ❤

“I’m too tired.”

“It’s not my thing.”

“Not enough hours in the day.”

“I need to get in better shape first. ”

“People will just look at how fat and out of shape I am.”

“I have too many other things to worry about.”

“I don’t like to sweat.”

“I don’t even know what to wear.”

“I don’t like to be around alot of people.”

“It’s just not my crowd.”

“It’s pricey to join.”

“I have a bad back/knees/other health issue.”

I have spent most of my life being active. I was overweight as a kid and hated it. I was always attracted to being in a gym. The people there were healthy and seemed so bright and cheerful. I started running after high school because one of my friends lost weight that way. I HATED running. The first mile I “ran” took me 13 minutes. I know there are people that could have walked it faster, but I was ok with that. I was proud that I got off my ass. I decided to do it again. Then I did it again. Then I went 2 miles. I lost weight that summer, 30 pounds! I started to go further and got faster. I decided to pursue a degree in Exercise Science. It was fascinating to me how something as simple as moving more could help so many aspects of our lives!

Throughout college, I worked in a gym, led fitness classes of all sorts, and personal trained clients. I graduated and ran a few marathons. My social time was usually on the road training with a group or in the gym. I wanted in on whatever was happening. Racquetball, tennis, road races, classes, volleyball on the beach…count me in!! Being active always made me happy.

Flash forward to mom life. I kept running and staying active throughout all of my pregnancies. I ran up until 3 days before I delivered my first and completed a half marathon while pregnant with my first two. Then I bought the treadmill. Then the weights, the yoga mats, and the dvds. I created a pretty cool gym in the basement. I woke up at 5am to workout before the kids got up and life got crazy. It was the only way to fit it in and I had to make it work to stay sane. I did make that work for years.

Then Bobby died. Then I never got a break. I never got out of the house. Working out still happened, but it wasn’t the same. I needed another outlet. I got turned onto POUND ROCKOUT WORKOUT by an awesome friend. I started taking her class and fell in love. I hit and sweat and was social again. I chatted after class and it was therapy. I stole a few hours a week away from my crazy life and it was therapy. I got back into the gym! I became a licensed POUND PRO about 6 months after taking my first class. A few months later I was back in the gym teaching like I had been 20 years prior. Having kids and needing to use the gym daycare (thank God it was there!) made me mostly in and out of the gym for teaching. It is awesome to be back doing something I love and meeting amazing people. They don’t even know how much they change my life when they let me into theirs!

This year with my baby in preschool, it has given me a chance to REALLY get back into the gym. I have started to do other instructors classes, meet even more people, and get into the weight area. I also decided to get my personal training certification again. Helping and inspiring other people is a passion that chases me and makes me the happiest.

I have noticed quite a few things being back in the gym 20 years later. I would like to think that life and experiences have made me smarter and more observant. People at the gym are happy, especially when they have finished their workouts! I have never seen anyone leave saying they regret spending that time at the gym. Everyone smiles. They’re friendly. They’re supportive! Nobody cares how big or little you are or what you wear. When people come in tired, they leave energized. When people come in stressed, they leave relaxed. When people make time for what makes them healthier, it makes them happier! I have met people that hated the thought of exercise. I have met shy people and insecure people. That all changes when they enter the gym. We are one! We are all on a journey here, for a better life, a healthier one, a life where we have more energy for our families and for all that we choose to accomplish any given day. This is a special place. Come join us! Give it a chance. You have nothing to lose! You could discover an entire new, wonderful world out there that you didn’t even know existed!

Now….what’s YOUR excuse??