My dad passed away this week. He was 78 years young. Even though you see someone you love in poor health, and even though you know they will soon not be here, it still hits like a throat punch. Takes my breath away to think about it. I was blessed and need to share what I wrote to honor his memory.

Everyone who knew my dad, knew he was special. Ive gotten messages and phone calls left and right about what an amazing, kind, generous, great man my dad was. Thank you so much for that! Our family has been through a tremendous amount of loss, as you know, some before I was even born. My dad was my backbone and the backbone of our family through it all. He has been my source for laughs and support and hugs and venting for my entire life. He truly was, and always will be, my best friend. Thinking about days without him makes me choke. So I don’t. I know he is another angel and will always be with me and with all of my children. I cannot get too sad. That wasn’t my dad. It wasn’t what he wanted. I want us all to remember him and smile. Here are some best thoughts and memories I personally have and also some from his family and friends that I wanted to share.

I happened to ask 3 people in a row…2 cousins and a friend what sticks out when they think of my dad. All of them said, “The Grand National and how damn fast he drove!” He loved that car! I remember he got it because it was one of the fastest cars in the nation. That fact was so lost on me, but not on my guy friends at THS. Whenever my dad let me take his car, I would be bombarded with pleading from them begging to get a chance to drive it. I am proud to say that I never let them! My dad would have killed me and that car would surely have been done in the hands of a teenage boy!

My dad gave us our first taste of a global education. As president of the Taunton Rotary Club, he brought Up With People to Taunton. We got to meet people from all over the world. This gave us a desire to learn more about other places and people and ways of life. He was in charge of several exchange programs throughout the years as well. Through these exchanges, I still have some wonderful friends. Thanks to him and my mom both, we were taught that we are part of a community larger than ourselves. We were taught to be understanding, non judgemental, and kind. My father truly did treat the janitor the same as the CEO. At the furniture store, I have been told, that when you walked in there and couldn’t afford what you needed, you still took it home with the promise that you would come back each week and pay a little down. Many people have told me that it was the only way they ever would have been able to afford their first new bedroom or dining room sets. That was a special thing, that trust and faith that my father always kept in people.

My dad loved music and all kinds. He took me to my first concert. I was in 7th grade and got to see Bon Jovi and Skid Row! He took my friends and I to see SO MANY CONCERTS. Pretty sure he saw New Kids on The Block at least a dozen times…. not sure it was really his favorite singing group though. Years later, he was the chauffeur for my kids for school and activities. I always felt bad asking him to bring them somewhere or to pick them up, but he would insist. I soon learned that he loved that time together with them and so did they. My dad was way cooler than me, letting them listen to whatever they wanted on the radio. Eventually, their music grew on him and he ended up sometimes telling me I should be listening myself! My kids tell me thats one thing they will remember the most. Those car rides. He would spoil them with Starbucks or Dunkin or whatever else they asked for, and they knew I would have said no. My kids’ friends all knew Pubby well too. He picked them all up at one time or another and he was always likely to be at the house when friends were over. He loved people. He took care of his friends, then my friends, and then was doing the best he could to take care of his grandkids friends too. Thats just the kind of man he was.

He was also patient. He let my friends and I get away with just about anything we wanted. He had plenty of times that he could have told them all to go home, but instead, he was more likely the one pulling out the deck of cards. And sometimes he would let us do things and get away with them as long as we promised not to tell my mother.

Speaking of Joan… A few weeks ago, my dad and I talked about him dying. It did break my heart. But I held his hand and I told him that it will never be okay for him pass away because I want to hold onto him forever, but he had his brother, his 2 boys, and one heck of a gorgeous woman waiting for him. I told him that when the moment came for that reunion, I was sure i’d be seeing fireworks in the sky.

I love hearing all the wonderful things that people are telling me about him. I love that people have told me that they feel lucky and blessed to have known such a man. I am the lucky one though. That’s my dad you are talking about and I got to have him for 41 years! It is too hard to say goodbye, but I know I don’t have to. I know he isn’t gone. I know that he is another angel. I know his helping days are not gone either. He will always be my best friend. Even though I already miss calling him 100 times a day or him calling me, I know he will still make sure that I know he is here. Death cannot stop the love between two people, nor will it make me sad for long. He has left a legacy for certain. And that legacy is truly filled with nothing but joy and kindness to the world around us.