Some readers will completely get this and some will be left wondering if I have lost my mind. You’ll know who you are…if you get it, you just get it and you’ll know to wave.

I got my first Jeep when I got my license. I grew up in a family of Jeep owners and always knew it was in my blood. It was an ’89 black wrangler (back before the 4 doors were a thing). It was gorgeous as far as I was concerned. It was also a piece of crap in the running-efficiently-with-no-issues department. I didn’t care about that though. What 16 year old girl would? Looking back, it was a blessing. I learned quite a bit about how to fix things and at least which parts were which and what they did. That Jeep drove my high school friends around every weekend. Every weekday she barely got my best friend and I to school on time! I remember commuting to the campus of Bridgewater State to my classes when I was in college. I carpooled with a friend. After class, we would pop the hood and put dry gas in the carburetor to get it to start up. The boys always asked if we needed help, but we would just smile at them as the little flame shot out and we knew we were good to go. Another time, I had an oil leak, but plans to visit a friend in Maine, about 4-5 hours away. My dad was the coolest, buying me a case of oil, and reminding me to keep checking it or I would be screwed and we would fix it when I got home the next week. I am pretty certain my friend thought I was crazy when we left the movies, I checked the oil, and added a quart. I did it every so many miles. That Jeep made me appreciate every vehicle I have had since then that ran with all the parts working!

I drove her for about 3 years. The last time I drove her, I was on my way to work and smoke started to come out of the steering wheel. The next day my dad co-signed a loan for me and I brought home my new 1996 turquoise wrangler. She was a beauty! I called her my Buffett-mobile (after Jimmy, of course). It was, and still is, my favorite color: summer, fun, friends, sun, sand, margaritas.

That girl saw years of memories. She was with me when I met my husband. She must have been attracted to his black wrangler. I know I was! Together we drove my girl down to West Virginia to Camp Jeep three years in a row. The first year, we decided to tent camp. Neither he nor I had ever done it before. It rained all three nights! In the middle of the third night, we packed up and drove to a damn hotel! I have never tent camped since! One year we got my dad and my uncle to drive down with us to Camp Jeep. It was so fun! Bobby, my future husband, and I used to enter the contests to see who could take down and put back up the soft top in the fastest time. Back then they were easy! Loud as heck, but quick to maneuver. He broke a minute and I broke a minute and a half. We won a new soft top and an extra set of new windows one year. In 2001, that girl drove the two of us across the country. One day, she drove all the way from Denver to Kentucky, but that was Bobby’s stubbornness kicking in really. She saw the Hoover Dam, the Grand Canyon, the 4 corners, drove straight across Kansas, almost the entire East Coast… She was the “Limo” that was decorated and drove us from the church to the reception when we got married. She saw the birth of both of my daughters. It broke my heart to sell her when our girls were 1 and 3, but Bobby insisted it wasn’t practical and we shouldn’t keep it to just put on the road a few months a year (he was sooo wrong!). She was definitely one of those Jeeps where what happens in the Jeep, stays in the Jeep!

Our lives took some crazy turns over the years. We had another son, then lost our second son at birth, then had a rainbow baby boy after that. Motherhood took over, homeschooling, just trying to survive. Summers came and went and I always longed for that damn Jeep! Thank God I know the awesome people that have had it and appreciated it like me, and the memories I am certain they too have had with her.

Five years ago, Bobby died. He had bought a nice truck about a year prior to his passing away. That first year, lots of things were thrown at me (as they still are!). About a year after he died, I was turning 40. I had definitely lost who I used to be. I lost her in babies and marriage stress and financial crap and worst of all cancer. It was time to find her again, to get her back. If anything, it was not only a gift I could give myself, but a gift Bobby had made possible for me by way of his truck and being able to sell it. I knew the best thing that I could do for myself, was to remind myself of who I have always been. Remind myself of what makes me smile, of the fun life always has to offer if you just look for it. I opened my eyes and looked. I got rid of that truck and bought myself the perfect 40th birthday present, a 2013 4 door sport. She is a cool shade of yellow and reminded me of when my brother owned a yellow Jeep. I named her Little Miss Mango and its written on her hood, along with an anchor “tattoo” I gave her. After all, like my blog title states, “I refuse to sink”. She is covered in fun stickers just like her sisters before her too. See, when you have a Jeep, you need to make it your own. You give it the style and the accessories. Each Jeep is unique because the owner shows its personality. Sometimes those personalities take time to build. Sometimes they just aren’t cheap!

I’ve got four kiddos now. The five of us have made sure she has seen some of the road as well. She has already been packed to the gills each year for our annual trip to Maine and she took the trek down to Hershey one year for a cheer comp. She took us to the Ben and Jerry’s factory two years ago and to Lake Champlain. My oldest three now fight over who gets to ride shotgun when the doors are off. They stick their feet out and love the wind. They’ve learned to keep a sweatshirt on hand and we always have a few blankets in the back. The six year old cracks us up by insisting his window be rolled up even when the top is off. They are learning things along the way, like don’t eat popcorn because it will blow away and it’s no use fighting and asking for Mom’s help because she won’t hear you over the radio! They know the Jeep code and respect it. They will always wave to you or, my personal favorite, shoot you a peace sign when we drive our Jeep past yours.

There is a peace inside of me when I drive her. There is a freedom when the top is off, when the doors are off. I can’t find that same feeling in any other place and I don’t want to. It isn’t for the high maintenance or anyone that doesn’t want their hair in a ponytail or a braid. It isn’t for anyone that cares if they get a little wet. It isn’t for anyone that cares if they can’t hear the person sitting next to them over the wind or the radio. It isn’t for someone who needs clean, dry carpets. I have known people who get a Jeep, complain about it, and get rid of it. It’s not for them. I know the people who get one when they’re younger, then need the “grown up car”. Those people are definitely missing the point. I’ve also met people (especially men) who will say to me, “Oh you are a chick on the Cape and drive a Jeep? Isn’t that every chick on the Cape?” There are people who get the Jeep for the “fun car” or for some kind of status or thinking a Jeep is just going to make them cooler for the summer. I’m not judging. But those people usually don’t “get it” the way the rest of us do.

Once you get that feeling…once you smile just because your vehicle is open to the elements and it feels amazing, once that gets in your blood and stays, then you “get it”. To all my fellow Jeep peeps, my hope is that, if anything, maybe getting lost in that feeling has somehow helped you to find yourself again too. Wave on my Jeep friends, wave on.